Monthly Archives: December 2017

Not Knowing What You Don’t Know

when you
don’t know
what you
don’t know,
it’s easier
to go about
your day.

you can say
what you
wanna say
without worrying about
the consequences.

what is there
to worry about?

you only know
what you know,
and nothing else matters
to you
because you think
you know everything.

and that’s why
you feel like
you can go
through life
acting the way
you do.

for us,
you don’t
live your life
in a vacuum.

so, when you act
out of
your own idiocy,
the consequences
of your actions
go beyond
what you know.

your ignorance
is dangerous
in its weaponization.

after all,
there’s no need
to take responsibility
for your actions
when you can
play dumb
(even if only
in your own head).

your biggest
is that you
don’t know
what you
don’t know,
so you
can’t figure out
what you
need to learn.

your hubris
stunted your
intellectual development
during your youth,
and now
we’re all suffering
the consequences
while you’re
living in oblivion.

Sign Up for The New Miamian Newsletter

16 Signs You Might Be Super Miami

We’ve all wondered it at some point. Whether you’ve lived here your entire life or moved here recently, the question will inevitably pop into your head: am I being super Miami right now? Millions of people call Miami home, but some of us are way more Miamian than others. These 16 signs will help you identify just how Miami you are.

16. You Use the Word Super for Everything

Many outsiders characterize Miamians by overusing the words bro and like, but like, seriously –  the word that really gives us away is super. In Miami, nobody’s gonna tell you you’re being wicked or hella loud. Here, you’re being super loud. Or super rude. You can pretty much be super anything here.   

15. You’ve Made It Through a Hurricane

Part of the deal that comes with living in Miami is coping with hurricane stress. It starts with local news stations go into 24-hour coverage mode while we all race to fill up our gas tanks and stock up on drinking water. And then, as soon as the winds die down, the real struggle begins – waiting for your electricity to come back on. This year Hurricane Irma ushered in a new group of locals that have weathered a storm together. And for those who evacuated – bro, what happened to ‘305 till I die?’

14. You Love Publix Subs

There’s a new staple of Miamian cuisine that the natives have an abnormal obsession with: Publix subs. There’s such a hunger for these cold cut sandwiches that you might even become a victim of online order theft if you don’t get to the deli quick enough to pick yours up.

A post shared by #Power96 📻 Miami (@power965) on

13. You’ve Made a Power 96 Mixtape

If you were listening to music in Miami before iPods and Spotify, you probably made at least one mixtape of your favorite songs on Power 96, 99 Jamz or 94.9 Zeta. Back in the day, you had to hold down the record and play buttons on the cassette deck at just the right time to add a song to your playlist. It’s probably why downloading songs on Limewire and burning CDRs as your computer was infected with a trojan virus seemed like a good idea in the early 2000s.  

12. You Once Loved Going to Sunset Place

If you lived here at the turn of the century, you witnessed South Miami become the epicenter of suburban entertainment. The Bakery Center, a mall that was torn down in the 90s, was replaced with the Shops at Sunset Place in 1999. With a Rainforest Cafe, a Virgin Megastore and a movie theater with stadium seating, it was a magical place to spend your Friday night as a teen.  

11. You Know What a Fifteens Is

Another interesting part of being a teen in Miami was dancing fifteens. No, this isn’t a drinking game. It’s how teenagers referred to taking salsa lessons on the weekends to dance a rueda at a friend’s Quinces – ‘I’m dancing a fifteens.’ Another way to celebrate turning 15 as a Miami girl back in the day was by booking a fifteens cruise. They became a big part of the teenage social calendar after school let out for the summer.

10. You’ve Gone to the Youth Fair

Nothing unites Miamian youth more than their excitement over going to the Miami-Dade County Fair and Exposition. You may have had a school project that won you a blue ribbon at the Youth Fair. Or maybe you just went for the elephant ears and carnival rides. Whatever the reason, it was the fair – be there. Extra points if you’ve spent a good amount of time at Santa’s Enchanted Forest – at Tropical Park, on Palmetto and Bird Road.

9. When Someone Says “The Bar” You Think “The Bar”

For tourists, checking out the local bar scene usually only takes them as far as Miami Beach and Downtown. If you ask a Miamian for a bar recommendation, chances are they will mention places like Bougainvillea’s in South Miami, The Bar in Coral Gables and Tavern in the Grove.

8. The Keys Are Still The Keys

DJ Khaled has put Miami back on the map when it comes to music megastars in residence. But when a Miamian hears you speak of keys, the first question we ask ourselves is: Elliot Key, Key Biscayne or the Keys, keys?

7. You Know Where To Cheat on Your Diet

You can find just about every fast food chain in Miami. There’s a McDonald’s and Taco Bell in pretty much every neighborhood. But if you’re looking for a Miamian eating a cheat meal, check Arbetter’s Hot Dogs, Taco Rico or The Big Cheese. These are the places you go when you want to indulge in local comfort food.

6. Kendall Is a Part of Your Life

For many Miamians, life begins and ends in Kendall. And if you’ve lived in this city long enough, chances are you’ve had at least one family member or one doctor’s appointment in the most Miami neighborhood of them all. Just like any other American suburb, it’s abundant in strip malls, hospitals and chain restaurants. What truly sets Kendall apart is the ridiculous traffic and attitude you have to deal with to visit any of these places.

5. Croquetas Come Before Cafecito

A cafecito from a Cuban bakery is as synonymous with Miami as the beach is. But the one thing Miamians long for more than sweet espresso is the deliciousness of a ham croqueta. Whether you prefer the ones from Gilbert’s, Versailles or Islas Canarias, you can’t deny that there’s nothing like a freshly fried croquetica.

4. You’ve Rented In the Beach

Miami Beach is a tourist destination for visitors from around the world – including mainland Miami. Our staycations, or renting as we call it, usually mark an occasion like prom, homecoming, a birthday, or any activity that seems like much more fun when you’re on vacation.

3. You Know Where Joe Robbie Stadium Is

You don’t have to know exactly who Joe Robbie was to consider yourself a true Miamian. But if you’ve never heard of the Orange Bowl or Joe Robbie Stadium, you haven’t lived in Miami long enough. These stadiums are a big part of Hurricanes, Dolphins and Marlins history before Marlins Park and Hard Rock Stadium.

2. You Have a Miami Accent

You can pass someone on the street here city and not really know where they are from. That is, until they open their mouth to speak. Like being from Brooklyn or the Valley, being from Miami is most easily distinguishable by the native dialect. So, if you want to know if someone’s from here, get them to say a word with the letters A and L in it. It’s a dead giveaway for someone with a Miami accent. Whether you love it or hate it, it’s pretty contagious.

1. Miami Traffic Is Terrible, But You Put Up With It

As Miamians, we’re usually proud to say we’re from here. Some would argue we say it too much. But you’ll be hard-pressed to find a native that hasn’t had a meltdown while sitting in traffic on the Palmetto, US1, 836 or I-95. Miami traffic spares no one. No matter what app you use or how much you love living here, you will fantasize about moving to a city with better public transportation if you’re stuck in your car during rush hour. But as soon as you get home, you forget all about your empty threats to leave because you just can’t quit this Magic city.  

Being super Miami is something that most of us wear as a badge of honor. But if for some crazy reason you’re ashamed of how Miamian you are, stick a croqueta in your mouth. Nobody can hear your Miami accent if your mouth’s full of deep-fried deliciousness.

Sign Up for The New Miamian Newsletter